hypno: placebo?

i am NOT saying hypnotherapy does not work. it just hasn't worked yet. i'm giving it three strikes before it's out, and so far i felt better immediately following the session but by that evening it was as bad as ever.

what was most interesting was that i have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. which makes sense when you look at the last twelve months: among other things being surgery, moving, getting laid off, starting a new job. and my job has been extremely stressful, and in my spare time i'm putting together a conference and writing a book.

i sound like a blithering idiot when i think my life is hard. i do. i have an income, i have a home and i travel, i have friends who love me and a family who wants me to come home for dinner.

but in the last month, sometimes i can't breathe and the sky is falling. though i would not describe myself an unhappy, i am anxious. it's different.

anyway, i'm in LA this weekend and then going to try the hypno again the 19th... more to come on this...

the first session was really interesting, basically hypno-lady walked me through the history of the practice, i told her my life story, we talked about it for some time, and then she turned on some soft hippie music and i leaned back in my chair. then she led me through visualization exercises and we went back to traumatic events, walking through them in the visualization and trying to reassign less intense emotions to what was traumatic. theoretically, doing this over time while in a state of deep relaxation will lessen the impact of the traumatic event.

i just know i'm hard to hypnotize.
the whole time i was thinking of fight club.