the tao of

last night i was wandering around my apartment and took a few calls while sitting upside down on the couch, my head on the floor, my feet up on the wall. and after talking to a few people, i stood up, looked around, and realized i was relaxed.

profoundly, beautifully relaxed.

this blog goes back to 2005, at which time i'd quit my job at the architecture firm to work with Dispatch... the first time i went to Nicaragua... what i consider the first steps in my whole life to become myself. and now three years later i'm very, very close to it.

i guess what i'm saying is that i never thought it would take this long or be so clear. i've spent so much time listening, working, trying, doing, being that i feared i didn't really have much sense of who i am when all the labels fall off - but  last night was like a zen moment where i realized i've finally found that state of being where my natural state is peaceful.

the bio page of this blog is the text from an entry i wrote in January 2006 where i said "i am almost healed" and now i see it was just the door opening to now, and now is only the precursor to the future.

and two years later, though not physically healed, spiritually i'm in the most fantastic place i've ever been :)